Gerald Rogers, a psychologist who went through difficult divorce, wrote an amazing post on Facebook about life, love, relationships and divorce. He started by saying:
"After losing the woman I loved, and a 16-year marriage, here's the advice I wish I had been told..."
This is his advice...
Choose love
Ultimately, it's the only advice you need. If this is the principle that guides you through all your decisions, nothing will threaten the happiness in your marriage. Love always survives.
Don't worry about money
Money is a game, find a way to work together as a team to win. It never helps when team mates are fighting. Find a way to leverage the power of two people to win.
Always grow together
The standing lake is causing malaria, the flowing river is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is a natural process that happens when the muscle stops working, just as it does when you stop working on your relationships. Find common goals, dreams and a vision to work together and achieve them.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable
You don't need to be in control all the time. Be prepared to share your fears and emotions, and be aware of your mistakes.
Be open and transparent
If you would like to have trust you need to be prepared to share everything (!): especially the things you don't want to share. It takes courage to fully love, open your heart and let her in when you don't know if she'll like what she finds. Part of that courage is to allow her to love you completely, the darkness and the light. Put off the mask: If you feel you need to put a mask around her, and be perfect all the time, you will never experience love fully.
Don't be fools
Don't be idiots, but don't be afraid to be like that. You will make mistakes, and so will she. Try not to make mistakes that are too big, and learn from those you did. You're not supposed to be perfect, just try not to be stupid.
Dating never stops
Never, ever, don't take a woman for granted. When you proposed her, you gave her a promise to be the man who conquers her heart and keep it. It is the biggest and most important treasure that will ever be deposited in your hands. She chose you! Never forget that, and don't be lazy with your love.
Keep your heart
Just as you promised to keep her heart, you need to maintain your in the same readiness. Love yourself, love the world, but have a special place in your heart that no one can enter except your woman. Keep this place always ready to accept her and invite her in, and refuse to let anything or anyone else to enter.
Fall in love everyday
You will change all the time. You're not the same people you were when you married, and in five years you won't be the people you are today. The change will come, which is why you need to reselect each day. She doesn't have to stay with you, if you don't take care of her heart, she might have to give her heart to someone else, and you may never enter it again. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were dating her.
