Boy tore the bra of a 15-year-old girl in the middle of the class - no one expected her mother's great revenge
When children at school break the rules and behave inappropriately, who is responsible for correcting and instructing them?
To create a healthy learning environment, do you sometimes have to ask yourself tough questions? Are you doing enough to combat the phenomenon of sexual harassment? Do you allow sexual comments in your class? Do you subconsciously give boys more rights and privileges than girls?
Such responsibility can easily pass over the heads of teachers and staff - but naturally parents also have a critical role to play in this regard.
It is our responsibility to teach children what is right, what is wrong and what is forbidden.
The story below, that have made big headlines all over the world, is an example of when we must take a clear position, and what happens when we don't.
It all began in class when a girl was constantly harassed by a classmate. At one point the boy tried to open her bra, and that was when she said enough.
She hit the boy twice on his face. The school administration called the girl's mother, but that was when the story took a new turn, as the mother wrote in her own words:
(I am a nurse in the emergency room, and we are not allowed to hold private telephones on us.)
On the phone: "This is [the teacher] from [the school], there was an incident with your daughter, we need you to come here."
Me: "Is she sick or injured? Can't it wait until the end of my shift in two hours?"
On the phone: "Your daughter beat another student, we've been trying to catch you for 45 minutes, that's very serious."
(I went to school and got rushed into the school principal's office, and I saw my daughter, her teacher, another teacher, the school principal, a boy with blood next to his nose and a red face, and his parents.)
The principal of the school: "Mrs. [and my surname], how nice it is that you finally joined us."
Me: "Yes, it can be quite crazy in the emergency room, I spent the last hour doing 40 stitches on a 7-year-old boy after his mother hit him with an iron ladle and I had to deal with the police about the case. Sorry for being late."
(After I watched him trying not to be embarrassed, he told me what happened, and that the boy tried to open my daughter's bra and she hit him in the face, and the impression I got was that they were more angry at my daughter than at the boy.)
Me: "Ah, so you want to know if I'm going to report to the police about the boy for sexually harassing my daughter and the school for allowing it to happen?"
(They immediately shrunk in their chairs as soon as I mentioned the word sexual harassment, and they all started talking together)
Teacher: "I don't think it's that serious."
Educator: "Let's not exaggerate."
School principal: "I think you're missing the point."
(The boy's mother begins to cry, and I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)
The daughter: "He kept pushing my bra's tie. I asked him to stop, but he didn't, so I told Mr. [the teacher] and he said to me: 'Ignore him'. [The boy] did it again, and then he tried to open my bra, So I hit him, only then did he stop."
(I turned to the teacher).
Me: "You let him do this to her, why did not you stop him?"
Teacher: "What?! No!"
Me: "Doesn't seem fair to you? Why won't you go to the lady and pull her bra right now, see if it's fun for her, or pull in the boy's mother's bra, or mine, do you think that just because they're kids its fun for them?"
School principal: "Mrs., with all due respect, your daughter is still beating another boy."
Me: "No. She protected herself from another student's sexual assault, look at them, he is almost 1.80 meters, she is barely 1.50 meters tall, he is taller than her and weighs almost twice than her, how many times she was supposed to let him touch her? If the person who is supposed to help and protect her did nothing and it didn't bother him, what was she supposed to do? He pulled the bra so hard it was torn."
(The boy's mother is still crying and his father looks angry and embarrassed, and the teacher will not make eye contact with me.) I looked at the school principal.
Me: "I'm taking her home. I think that the boy has learned the lesson, and I hope that this will not happen again, not only to my daughter, but to any other girl in school. You wouldn't let him do it to someone from your staff, so what makes you think it's okay to do this to a 15-year-old girl is beyond my comprehension. I'll report this to the authorities, and if you - *addressing the boy* - will ever touch my daughter again, I'll make sure you're arrested for sexual assault. Understood?"
(I was so angry, I took my daughter and we left. I reported the case to the authorities, and they promised me they'll take care of it. My daughter moved to another class, far from the boy, and from that teacher."
Well done to the mother who defended so wonderfully and firmly of her daughter.
She certainly did the right thing, and everyone should hear his story.